False Advertising

I know, I know....I promised a post about my experiences so far in the FS as a singe parent (or, to be more accurate, a single, custodial parent of a school-aged child).  But after some reflection and drafting and editing of a post, I realized that there was no way for me to come out of that without sounding like a whiny brat.  Look, I knew what I was getting myself into when I signed up for this gig, and while it certainly hasn't been easy and I'm sure that folks think I'm anti-social because I didn't go to every happy hour, there is no getting around the fact that the Mini Menace and I are about to embark on a massively exciting adventure.  Whatever my experience has been so far, it's all worth it.  And hey, the fact that domestic help is incredibly affordable (almost embarassingly so) in Nicaragua means that I'll have even less to complain about.

So, many apologies to anyone who might have been expecting an angry screed, but my judgment got the better of me.  Man, sometimes this maturity thing is kind of a drag.

Instead, more Spanish adventures! At orientation, the Spanish section managers told us to expect that the classes would be shuffled around once instructors got a better sense of the students' abilities, so that students at similar levels would be together, etc.  On Monday, I was moved to a new section, which I thought was going to be a good thing, even though I liked my instructor and my classmates.  Why?  I'd already taken two Spanish classes at FSI, so I'd been through at least half of the overall course before, so I was ready to work on new material.  BUT DEAR MOTHER OF GOD!!!!! I am not ready for the section they put me in....one guy (an A-100 classmate and one of the nicest guys on earth) is married to a native Spanish speaker and has been speaking Spanish at home for 20 years.  Um, I've been to Spain twice and can manage to get myself a beer and a meal.  Either FSI has a lot more confidence in my abilities than I do, or they've made a terrible, terrible mistake and just haven't figured it out yet. 

My new instructor might just be the most charming and fascinating man I've ever met, though, so I'll stick around until they kick me out.  Honestly, after fleeing Spain during the Civil War, settling in Latin Am and having to flee another dictatorship, and who knows what else....at 82, this guy has some amazing stories to tell.  If only I spoke enough Spanish to understand what he was saying.....

Oh, and a Mini-Menace update for my family:  he was selected for the all-star soccer team, and won 2nd place at his school's art contest.  He's a regular renaissance menace, that kid.

Lazarus in the house!!

Yeah, that's right, folks:  I'm back from the dead.  I warned you I was going to be a lazy blogger, didn't I?

A-100 is finally over, and I think the entire 160th breathed a massive sigh of relief.  I can't speak for everyone, but after Flag Day, all I really cared about was finding out more about my post and starting language training and area studies.  Well, that and finally not having to wear a suit and heels every day.  Still, we made it through that last week (barely, for some of us, including myself) and are now scattered to the four corners of DC and FSI.  I'm lucky enough to be in area studies with several classmates, and one is in my Spanish class as well.  I still see other 160ers around campus, though, which is nice.  I made some good friends and really hope that we'll stay in touch.

So: Spanish.  We're two days in and, while I can't say I'm feeling overwhelmed yet, the sheer volume and pace of the work is pretty hectic.  I took two Early Morning courses at FSI when I was at my last job, so I knew basically what to expect.  I have the one of the same instructors from my previous courses, so I even knew what to expect from her.  That said, though, my class of four is pushing ahead signficantly faster than the EM classes did.  On average, the EM classes covered a unit in 2-3 days; my current class has already blown through four units (albeit basic stuff, just as a review)  in a day and a half.  I do homework every night.  I may well be eating my words re: "independent study = watching Telemundo in bed"--my scheduled independent study hours are not going to involve rotting my brain with telenovelas.  Still, I'm so thrilled to be getting paid to improve my Spanish, I can't complain.  Now if I could only learn how to type with accents...

Other news:  Mad props to Short Term Memory for reaching out to me from Managua and offering to answer my undoubtedly asinine questions about life in Nicaragua.  Go check out the blog, folks, it's awesome.  It's made this whole moving-to-Nicaragua thing more real--the photos are gorgeous and STM does a great job of chronicling life at post.  I really feel like I have a better idea of what to expect and feel like the decision to rate Managua as "high" was the right move.

Stay tuned for a blog post on my experiences thus far as a single parent in the Foreign Service.  Eventually....

Just in case you can't read the fine print on the flag.....

I'm headed to Nicaragua!!!!!!  WOOHOOO!!!  I was totally surprised--I had actually expressed a strong preference for a Mexican border post and thought I stood a pretty good chance (but not a guarantee) of getting it.  I mean, who the heck WANTS to go to Nogales?  But, once the shock wore off, I realized that I was still lucky enough to get one of my high bids, in one of the safest countries in Central America, where I'll get to work in my cone and get my language requirement out of the way.  Plus, the school there for the Mini-Menace is fantastic!  Oh, and the coffee??  SO EXCITED! I'll be leaving a little earlier than I had hoped (late October), but honestly, I really have nothing to complain about.  The more I think about it, the more excited I get.  Plus, I'm a lot more likely to get visitors in Managua than anywhere on the Mexican border...

The Mini-Menace, who had specifically requested Tijuana (proximity to LegoLand), took the news quite well.  I think the promise of surfing lessons might have had something to do with it.  Look, bribery is a perfectly acceptable parenting technique, right?

Diplochick, I'm still coming to see you in Chennai.  Count on it!!

My parents came to town for Flag Day and were really fascinated by the whole experience.  It's a total blur to me right now, but all in all, I am very happy with my assignment and am so happy for all my classmates.  Way to go, 160th!!!!

OMG, what have I done????

Bid list submitted a few minutes ago.  Let the freak-out commence!!!  What, you thought I knew what I was doing??  Top factors were working in my cone, getting off language probation, and (hopefully) security & quality of the Mini-Menace's education.  I think I had a pretty decent mix of highs, mediums, and lows, so I'm hopeful that I'll be assigned a high or medium-rated post.  My absolute top choice isn't, I think, a terribly desirable post, so I'd like to think I stand a pretty decent chance of getting it; but I could be completely wrong.  Sadly for the Mini-Menace, the Bahamas were (was?  singular or plural?  My brain is fried!) not on the list, so he started lobbying for Tijuana.  Why?  Proximity to Legoland.  I wish my decisions were that easy.

Also from this weekend, another entry in the annals of Red Menace High Quality Parenting: letting my son listen to Cee-Lo Green.  Think that's balanced out by watching The Bad News Bears?  You might think so, except for having to explain that Walter Matthau was a drunk and that "Blow it out your bunghole!" should not be repeated at school.

Peaches vs. Coconuts

After a three-hour session on cross-cultural communication, I've learned that some people / cultures are like peaches, others are like coconuts.

In other news, the Mini Menace is a finalist in a poetry recitation contest at school.  Naturally, the poem he picked is about farting.

It's a glorious life I lead, I tell you.  Glorious!!

Overwhelmed

Good lord, the amount of info that they shove at you during A-100 is astounding!!!  I am completely worn out.  You'd think that I'd be somewhat less stressed than some of my colleagues, since I don't have to worry about federal employee health benefits, retirement, TSP, etc.--got that covered as a transfer employee, thanks--but NO, you would be WRONG.   It would make me dizzy to go over it all now and I'd like to keep DSS off my ass for any security violations.  (Thank you, Agent X for scaring the crap out of all of us).  Suffice it to say that I feel like I've thrown into the deep end of the pool without knowing how to swim.  I know I'll survive, but man, this is going to be a busy six weeks.

The absolute highlight of my 1st day, though, was meeting my new best friend and partner-in-crime.  We met on the Metro on the way in on our first day, after I shamelessly eavesdropped and inserted myself oh-so-diplomatically (ha!) into her conversation with another fellow student.  We recognized each other from our apparently mutual blog-stalking, so it felt as if I was meeting a friend, not a total stranger.  Yay!!  Plus she is just as much of a back-row trouble-making smartass as yours truly.  So, while the next 6 weeks may be insanely busy, they will be highly entertaining, thanks to a certain someone who has promised to make me paneer tikka and who is already predicting that I will be assigned to the Bahamas and marry an Ambassador. 

Tomorrow's highlight?  BID LIST!!!!!!

Making Progress....

So, the Mini Menace's reaction to joining the Foreign Service has gone through three stages so far:

1.  "You're ruining my life!!!"

2.  "Wherever we go, we're taking the Wii, aren't we?"

3.  "Can we go to the Bahamas?"

April 29th

That's apparently the date of my training class's Flag Day, when we'll find out our first country assignment.  Now I have an entirely new date to obsess over!!!

The waiting is KILLING me!!!

The reason I haven't posted in a while is because I really, truly have nothing new to report.  Two weeks--14 of the slowest, most torturous days ever known--left before I start training at the new job.  Unlike a lot of my future 160th A-100 classmates, I'm already local, so there won't be any packout drama or TDY issues until I'm actually ready to head to post.  I probably ought to be starting to sort through my belongings and try to decide what, if anything, will go to storage, what will go in the HHE shipment, and what will go in the UAB shipment.  I just can't bring myself to start, though.  I could be here for another year before I go anywhere, so why start stressing about it now? 

I'm dying to start training though, and get the bid list.  That's the list of countries / jobs that are available for my class.  Unlike packout, this is one subject I can't stop thinking about.  Where do I want to go?  Pretty much anywhere.  On one hand, I wouldn't mind Mexico or another Spanish-speaking country...so I can actually put my Spanish to use.  Then again, I'd love to learn Arabic or Mandarin.  I like Mexico, in particular, since it's close enough that my family, and the Mini Menace's dad / family can visit easily--the Mini Menace's uncle owns a condo in Puerto Vallarta.  I'd even consider Nogales, but that's strictly for personal reasons and the personal reason in question may be relocating to another Western / Rockies state, but still, that's closer than, oh, say....Africa.   Leaving Mexico aside, I'd be happy with Poland (family), almost anywhere in Africa, Asia.....

Hmm.  I'm not really doing such a good job of narrowing down my list, am I?  Guess I just have to wait and see what's actually ON the list before I get myself too worked up.

T-minus two months and counting...

I suspect the posts are going to be fairly scant over the next two months; I won't start A-100 until March 28th, but--being the conscientous and dedicated employee that I am--I've already given notice at my current job.   The reactions have been pretty funny--some folks are calling up to see if I've been fired, to congratulate me on getting the hell out, or to just see what the general scoop / gossip is behind my departure.  Things at the office are especially insane these days: the transition to a new organizational / management structure has been very difficult for the team, and as one of the managers, it's been hard for me to keep my team's spirits up when I'm personally so demoralized by the atmosphere.  On top of all that, my dear, dear friend--who happens to be the Chief of my section--went into labor today and will be out on maternity leave until June.  So, now I get to be the Acting Chief until I leave at the end of March, deal with our budget drama, and hire my replacement.  Stress much?  Nah. Thank god I've got an exit plan!!  I hate to leave the team at a time like this, but there was no way I'd pass up the chance to join the Foreign Service.  Sorry, guys.

I'm glad to report, though, that the Mini Menace seems to have accepted the inevitable.  He's gone from the "You're ruining my life!!!" stage to the "We're bringing my Wii, right?" stage.  That's progress in my book.

So, don't expect much for now, folks.  Once training starts in 2 months, you'll be sick of hearing from me.  Enjoy the quiet while it lasts.